Getting Your Inner and Outer Worlds in Synch

When your inner and outer worlds aren’t in synch nothing seems to feel quite right. It’s like putting on your favorite jeans that you accidentally put in the drier for two hours, and suddenly you can’t get them over thighs…they look and feel the same, but they’re not – you’ve literally outgrown them.

The same thing happens when we evolve internally.

Outdated, beliefs, habits, and patterns that no longer serve us are easily let go and replaced with new, healthier habits and beliefs.

If we want our new inner world to match our outer world we have to adjust accordingly.

This is what happened to me after a process of digging deep…discovering my Core Desired feelings through the Desire Map process…teaching workshops and actually living those feelings.

And then this little book came along:


It should really should come with a warning:

“Proceed with Caution, or read at your own risk!!!!

I had the pleasure of reading this small, unassuming book this summer. I thought – oh another book about getting organized- maybe if I read it, my house will become neat and tidy by osmosis. However, what happened was nothing short of a household-Tsunami- in a good way.

Kondo’s premise is “if something doesn’t bring you JOY get rid of it.” Well, I had no idea how many joyless articles of clothing, books, and household stuff I had lurking in my seemingly organized house. (P.S. Just because you have bins labeled, arranged by season and alphabetized – does not mean you are organized, or that the items in the bins bring you joy!)

My process started with an update of my office and a quick look into my 3 clothing closets. In the end, I purged 8 racks of clothes, 15 pieces of furniture and a whole library of books. This is just the tip of the iceberg, as it turns out, the more streamlined you become the less tolerance you have for clutter, disorder, or even superfluous stuff.

During the purging process, I will admit there was a brief moment of panic of letting go. I am a sentimentalist, and everything carried with it a memory, that I didn’t want to let go of. In some cases, I’d paid a lot of money for an item and letting it go brought up guilt and even shame for buying it in the first place. Yet, when I truly examined my desire to hold on – it didn’t bear up to the JOY test…. so I let it go…. and go… and go…

The truth was I was done with them- they’d served their purpose. The silver lining is – just because something no longer gives you joy, it may be the perfect thing for someone else. Consigning my clothes and furniture felt both empowering and expanding. The more I let go, the calmer I felt, and it had a ripple effect.

What started out as a little closet-declutter turned into an entire office and home makeover. I realized that who I was 14 years ago when I decorated my home and bought clothes is not who I am now – and I was feeling out of synch with my surroundings.

My before and after photos of my ever-evolving office say it all. Before I wanted to be surrounded by anything I might possibly need, cards, pens, post-it notes, pads of paper, journals, notebooks, calendars – Office Depot/Papyrus/Target I had it all in spades, and every in every color.

Now I crave space, tranquility, beauty and simplicity – and I’ve got it! My closets used to reflect my Girl Scout of attitude – “be prepared”. I kept things just in case; for example I may need that grey leopard print scarf, or perhaps pink, floral raincoats come back in fashion. My closets were overflowing with castoffs and some great pieces – but which no longer reflected who I am today.

What I’ve learned in this process, which by no means is over, is that the more I become in tune with my clothes and surroundings, the more I attract people, experiences and things which are a true reflection of me today.

My Desire Map training taught me to focus on how I want to feel..and to design my life, day, home based on those feelings. When I examined my own Core Desired Feelings:

Divinely-Connected, Creatively-Inspired, Vibrantly-Healthy, Joyful-Gratitude, Anchored -in-Ease

It was obvious my inner and outer world were out of synch.

What’s the expression – you can’t unsee what you’ve seen. So now I see the areas that still need work – hello basement! The difference is I can’t wait to tackle them now – because I know with the letting go – comes transformation- and with transformation comes another step closer to my becoming whole, to reaching my potential, to being my Best Self.

PS – I supposed when a title of a book includes “Life Changing” one might expect things to be different – for me, after reading this book, JOY is my compass and I know I am heading in the right direction.

Transformation is easier with a little help from my friends! Home Designer extraordinaire – Kristina Sterling,

The darling and daring duo of Home & Closet declutter and beautification – Susie Houston and trusty assistant to Hector Loya.

With Gratitude,



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